The Invisible Load of Motherhood
There’s a quiet moment most mornings somewhere between packing lunches, answering early emails, and reminding your child (again) to get dressed and where their shoes are, when the weight of the day settles in. The constant hum pulsing in the background.
Being a full-time working mother isn’t just about balancing two roles; it’s about carrying both, fully, all the time, while never receiving the break you deserve. It’s a constant negotiation of time, energy, identity, and expectation. It’s messy, demanding, and overwhelming.
What makes it even harder is that much of this work is invisible. The emotional labour, the planning. the anticipating, the remembering.
From the outside, it can look like a well-managed routine. A steady job, cared-for children, and meals on the table.
But what goes unseen is the mental checklist incessantly running: doctor’s appointments, school forms, grocery lists, emotional check-ins, work deadlines, birthday gifts, never-ending laundry, and the constant worry whether you are doing enough for your children.
There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly switching gears. One moment you’re in a meeting and making decisions with the team. The next, you’re wiping tears, negotiating snack choices, and helping with homework.
You are expected to be present no matter how exhausted or burnt out you are. Work doesn’t pause because your child had a rough night. Your children don’t stop needing you because a deadline is looming.
With no time to reset in-between, your only choice is to keep going.
Then there’s the constant overwhelming feeling of guilt floating around, never quite settling. Guilt for missing your child’s school event because of a work meeting. Guilt for checking emails during family time. Guilt for not fully being present as the mental load quietly carries on without acknowledging that crushing feeling.
I’m tired of being told moms are “superheroes”—we are human, and just because we can handle everything, doesn’t mean we should be expected to.
To my fellow moms and mom-figures this Mother’s Day—you’re not alone, and I see you. I see you in the strength it takes to show up every day, even when you’re tired. I see you in the stolen moments alone when you finally let yourself cry. I see you in the way you meticulously take care of every tiny detail for your family, while no one thinks about you.
I see you, and I think you’re doing an amazing job.
If you would like to join a community of women supporting one another through the trials and tribulations of motherhood, please check out this page to learn more.
P.S. Mom2Mom is currently raising funds to support single moms this Mother's Day! Until May 15, gifts up to $15,000 will be MATCHED by a group of generous donors. Make you gift today.
Written by Caitlin Creaney, Mom2Mom Participant Engagement Coordinator